Day Seven

Pill count:

• 2 Advanced Cleanse II (last night)
  
• 2 Advanced Cleanse I
  
• 2 OilSmart (Organic Flax, Borage and Cold Water Fish Oils)
• 6 FiberSmart
• 1 Extended release B¹²

Water: 1.5 liters

Poop count: 2 or 3...one of which was perfectly, if not slightly overly, firm

It occurs to me that it really is neccessary to post these things daily...y'know, because I remember virtually nothing except the pill counts. Gah.

Tomorrow, I'm going to start eating shredded wheat for one of my meals. Yay, fiber.

Day Six

Pill count:

• 2 Advanced Cleanse I (last night since I accidentally took Cleanse II in the morning)
  
• 2 Advanced Cleanse I
  
• 2 OilSmart (Organic Flax, Borage and Cold Water Fish Oils)
• 9 FiberSmart

Water: 3 liters

Poop count: 2 or 3...much less loose than they have been

I remember very little about this day...outside of finding out that a good friend has decided to start the cleanse.

Blargh.

Day Five

Pill count:

• 1 Advanced Cleanse II (last night)
  
• 2 Advanced Cleanse II (accidentally this morning instead of Advanced Cleanse I)
• 3 OilSmart (Organic Flax, Borage and Cold Water Fish Oils)
• 9 FiberSmart

Water: 2.5 liters

Poop count: 2 or 3...all loose

It turns out the Advanced Cleanse II pills make me gassy...or at least, that's what happens when I accidentally take them in the morning. Ugh.

aw, fuck

I remembered to take 2 pills this morning. Unfortunately, in my bleary-eyed state, I took two evening pills (Advanced Cleanse II) instead of two morning pills (Advanced Cleanse I).

Gah.

Day Four

Pill count:

• 1 Advanced Cleanse II (last night)
  
• 1 Advanced Cleanse I

Water: 2.5 liters

Poop count: 3 or 4...maybe 5...

They were still generally loose and generally about 60% of my normal poops.

No, no I didn't feel like posting today. Yes, yes I'm doing this out of obligation and because I know that if I don't, I'll just give up on this blog entirely....

I miss the B¹²....and the fiber...and the oils. Bah.

Tomorrow, I go to 2 pills instead of just 1....I was supposed to do that today, but I forgot. It was a very long day.

Day Three

Pill count:

• 1 Advanced Cleanse II (last night)
  
• 1 Advanced Cleanse I
• 1 OilSmart (Organic Flax, Borage and Cold Water Fish Oils)
• 3 FiberSmart
  
• 1 Extended release B¹²

Water: 2 liters

Poop count: 2

1. loose, but more solid than yesterday
   
2. it hid behind the toilet paper
   

Yeah, no pictures again. Suck.

Day Two

Pill count:

• 1 Advanced Cleanse II (last night--after I posted and before I went to bed)
  
• 1 Advanced Cleanse I
• 2 OilSmart (Organic Flax, Borage and Cold Water Fish Oils)
• 6 FiberSmart
  
• 1 Extended release B¹²

Water: 1.5 liters and counting

Poop count: 2

1. loose and a little gassy at first
2. prolonged and loose...I was in there for about twice as long as normal

Okay, so there were supposed to be pictures...well, there aren't yet. This is a learning experience as much as any. The first lesson being that if you religiously take a goddamn camera with you everytime you go to the bathroom and only forget once...it will be the one time that you do more than pee. And, secondly, if you've learned the first lesson and actually remember aforementioned camera, said occurence will take place in a Home Depot bathroom with an auto-flush toilet that's too quick on the draw. Auto-motherfuckin'-flushing toilet....but everything else is manual such that I have to touch three different bacteria-infested surfaces post-handwashing if I want to leave the bathroom without wasting water.

On to more important things: Despite my cynical view of all things trendy-cleanse...I'm feeling a bit more spry and my sweat smells different. Now, this might be due to my concentrated effort to drink water, but I've always been big on the water drinkin' thing. I generally drink at least 1.5 liters daily--not including any water that might be in other beverages--and often times tap out at close to 2.5 liters, peaking at 3. I know this because I love water in square bottles (read Fiji) and have bottle-corpses scattered about my domicile. So, we'll see...I'm still pretty leary of it all and am focusing on the poop. Knock on log again, my friends, but do it better this time so that my ineptness might be overcome.

Focus, you know we need poop visuals.

Confession

Okay, I just put this in a comment so I might as well 'fess up to it here. My major impetus for doing this cleanse is to make my mother happy. Yes, me pooping doing a cleanse will make my mother happy.

That is all.

Day One

Pill count:

• 1 Advanced Cleanse I
• 3 OilSmart (Organic Flax, Borage and Cold Water Fish Oils)
• 1 Extended release B¹²

Okay, so far I've had one bowel movement...which won't be posted here for two reasons:

1. it happened so soon after the first pill that I don't think I can legitimately consider it to be part of this endeavor
2. I forgot to take my camera with me into the bathroom

Justification is my best friend.

That said, I decided not to start off with the fiber today because I want to ease into things. Fiber seems like a good way to start off day two. Yes, day two will be Fiber Day. At this point, I'm considering keeping track of my daily sins as well because, quite frankly, I'm only half-assing this thing. I've taken their lifestyle and diet suggestions as just that: suggestions which I can easily discard. I mean, if they really thought that I should follow them, they would use a word other than "suggestion", right? For instance, they could have called them mandates or requirements. That said, I'm off to drink a ton of H₂O which is the one suggestion that I've decided to take to heart. Tomorrow, there should be pictures of poo...knock on log.

The Day Before

Tomorrow, I will start something that I've never done before... a cleanse. Yeah, yeah, yeah...everyone's doing it...blah, blah, blah...it will make me healthier (or so says the aforementioned "everyone")... yadda, yadda, yadda...better skin...whatever--I'm in it for the pooping.

It's not that I have any problems with the BM...well, no real problem. It's just that I'm pretty sure they could be better. It seems like something hasn't really made its way out. So I'm doing a cleanse...which I'll be chronicling here. Why? Well, for the most part, it's so I can keep track of what I've been doing, how it's working out, and what I should be doing. Yes, I really need this crutch despite the fact that I'm using the pre-formulized cleanse pictured below. It's no more stressful than having to take one type of pill in the morning, and then another in the evening. I, however, am perfectly aware of my limitations and the likelihood that I'll screw it up.