Day One
Pill count:
- 1 Advanced Cleanse I
- 3 OilSmart (Organic Flax, Borage and Cold Water Fish Oils)
- 1 Extended release B12
- it happened so soon after the first pill that I don't think I can legitimately consider it to be part of this endeavor
- I forgot to take my camera with me into the bathroom
That said, I decided not to start off with the fiber today because I want to ease into things. Fiber seems like a good way to start off day two. Yes, day two will be Fiber Day. At this point, I'm considering keeping track of my daily sins as well because, quite frankly, I'm only half-assing this thing. I've taken their lifestyle and diet suggestions as just that: suggestions which I can easily discard. I mean, if they really thought that I should follow them, they would use a word other than "suggestion", right? For instance, they could have called them mandates or requirements. That said, I'm off to drink a ton of H2O which is the one suggestion that I've decided to take to heart. Tomorrow, there should be pictures of poo...knock on log.
8 comments:
While I wish to support you wholeheartedly in what I can not help but consider to be a lot of new-agey, hocus-pocus, pseudo-science wellness-bothering, I feel that posting pictures of one's BM is perhaps crossing a line. Instead, I would suggest that you write descriptive haiku and, once the cleanse...cleaning...shitting is completed, compile the photos of the BM along with their respective haiku into an attractive coffee table book. You could call it, "Roadstops On The Chocolate Highway: One Woman's Journey To Fulfillment Through Emptiness."
Of course, I will expect some sort of acknowledgment or perhaps a dedication. Do it in code, though, because God knows I don't want my actual name anywhere on that, ahem, pile of shit.
You realize that I'm doing this for my mother, right? This is, ultimately, to make her happy. My going on the cleanse is what she's getting for Christmas. The pictures of the poop, though...well, that's all for me.
I should also say
that I shall not write any
haiku about poop.
Hmm, I intend to give my mother shit for Christmas as well, just, perhaps, not quite as literally. And let me get this straight. You'll blog about poopin' but not give 17 syllables to one of nature's most fundamental acts?
That is exactly
what I am saying to you
so you should just deal.
The fish strives upstream
Downstream would be easier
But then, there's no sex.
What does that have to do with poop?
It doesn't, but it uses nature imagery which is an important part of haiku. And it addresses the whole "you should just deal" thing.
There's no sex in poop haiku.
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